Humour Unlimited

[Sakshi.R]

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said, it was his mission.

He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.”

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.”


Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.

And both together smiled and said, “That’s multiplication.”

Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.

He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, “That’s long division!”

[Sakshi.R]

Insurance matter

A man has a headache and goes to see the doctor. The doctor says "I have bad news and good news. The bad new is that you have a brain tumor.

The good news is that we can do a brain transplant, and we have just admoitted a couple who was in a car accident. We can get you one of their brains. The male brain will cost your insurance company $100,000, and the female brain will cost $30,000."

The man says "I hate to be rude, but why does the male brain cost so much more than the female brain?" The doctor replies "Because the male brain has never been used."

[Sakshi.R]

The old one........


Movies and their meaning to software professionals

Sajan Chale Sasural : Computer professional coming to US.
1942 a Love story : Sticking to one company for more than a year.
Dil to Pagal Hai : Staying in India, dreaming of US.
Sapnay : Green card.
Sadma : Rejected H-1(B) Visa.
Khalnayak : Bodyshoppers.
Deewana Mastana : Project Manager - Team Leader.
Beta : Home Phone bill exceeding $400pm.
Rakhwala : Project Manager.
Mr. Bechara : Computer professional in Singapore.
Zanjeer : Company bond.
Himmatwala : Breaking company bond.
Tohfa : H-4 Visa for your Wife.
Mawaali : Before coming to US.
Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman : Once you are in US.
Chaudhvin ka Chand : Assembly programmer.
Sahib Bibi aur Ghulam : Client, your company and you.
Shehanshah : Bill Gates.
Admi Sadak Ka : Jumping from company to company.
Dayawan : Company paying full salary in bench
Anari : Year2000 programmer.
Phool Aur Kaanten : Microsoft - IBM.
Aaj Ka Gunda Raaj : Microsoft Monopoly in IT market.
Maharaja : Doctors who came to US in 70's
Hairaan : Non-Computer professionals on seeing computer professional's pay-check.
Hum Aapke Hain Koun : Illegal Immigrants in US
Aur Pyar Ho Gaya : After staying in US for a Year.
Pardes : India after 2 Years.
Daud : Coming to US.
Rangeela : After getting Green Card.
Bahaar Aane Tak : Time period between Green Card and Citizenship.
Desh Premee : Going back to India for good
Farz : Going to India every year.
Pyaasa : Longing for a Visa.
Agneepath : Going to Madras Consulate for getting a Visa.
Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar : After coming from consulate with a Visa.
Bud Naseeb : Not getting a Visa
Himalaya Putra : Firmly asking for $70k from India
Elan-E-Jung : Asking for increment
Gupt : Agreement of Programmer with number of consultants.
Zakmee : After getting rejected twice for a Visa.
Swarg Se Sundar : on landing in US.
Ab Kya Hoga? : Applied for Green Card too late.
Jallad : INS People.
Kranti : Increase H-1 quota.
Main Khiladi Tu Anari : You and Immigration Officer.

[arvind]

Originally Posted by Sakshi.R

Universal truth we learnt-

"Sun rises in the east"


Fact-

Sun neither rises nor sets, only Earth rotates.



Moral- Education kills our common sense.

बहुत बढ़िया है......

[ndhebar]

A Perfect Substitute to Husbandly Problems


If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it's not quite as good as his mother's




then adopt a dog.

[ndhebar]

Originally Posted by Sakshi.R

The man says "I hate to be rude, but why does the male brain cost so much more than the female brain?" The doctor replies "Because the male brain has never been used."

The man says "ok" and asked again "why female brain cost much lesser.
The doctor says with a smile "Because the female brain is empty"

[Sakshi.R]

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree".

[Sakshi.R]

All scientist failed to answer this question but Rajini did...

Q. Which is the liquid which turns solid on heating?






Ans. Dosa.


Yana rascala, Mind it!

[abhisays]

Wonderful one minute….

One smart Software engineer and his Project Manager were traveling towards Pune in a train.
Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.
With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our Software engineer & that girl.
After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.
Suddenly, everybody heard a Kiss sound followed by a loud slapping sound.
Everybody remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.
Grand ma thought that,” The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has kissed my granddaughter! But my Granddaughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy.”
That girl thought that,” I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him”.
PM thought that,” I can’t believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake”
Finally, the Software engineer thought?
“This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes…because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM.”
Enjoy every moment !!!!!

[ndhebar]

very funny
old stuff but a brand new flevor