Punography

[internetpremi]

· I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

· When chemists die, they barium.

· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

· A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

· PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

· Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

· Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory-- I hope there's no pop quiz.

· The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.

· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

· Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

· Broken pencils are pointless.

· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

· All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

· I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

· Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

· Velcro - what a rip off!

· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

· Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

· Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

· I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Nice.............................................. .............

[rajnish manga]

Originally Posted by internetpremi

· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

· Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

· Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

Amazing instances of Punography. This is an altogether new line of thinking.

[internetpremi]

(From the Facebook page The Punnery)

Making egg puns is eggsactly what you'd eggspect of an Eggnogstic.

After all, the name of their religion is a perfect eggsample of an egg pun.

Egg puns are an eggstremely important part of Eggnostic belief, and those who mock them should be eggscommunicated.

They should be given no chance to eggsplain themselves; mocking an egg pun is ineggscusable behavior.

Shell I further eggsplain my eggnostic beliefs?

Omelet you decide.

[internetpremi]

• What day do eggs hate most? Fry-day!
• How do monsters like their eggs? Terri-fried!
• What do chickens call a school test? Eggs-amination!
• How do eggs leave the highway? By going through the eggs-it.
• What did the eggs do when the light turned green? They egg-celerated!
• What do you call an egg taking a snooze on the job? Egg-zosted!
• Who wrote the book, Great Eggspectations? Charles Chickens!
• Why can't you tease egg whites? Because they can't take a yolk!
• Why did the egg go to school? To get "egg-u-cated"!
• Why is the chef so mean? She beats the eggs!
• Why did the chicken lay her egg on an axe? She wanted to hachet
• Why do chickens lay eggs? Because if they dropped them they would break!
• What do Chickens grow on? Eggplants!
• What did the mommy egg say to the baby egg? You're "Egg-stra special".
• What does the cihcken say to get across a busy street? EGGS-cuse me please!

[rajnish manga]

Well eggsplained, preggmatic and not phleggmatic. I am so eggcited, yaar.

[internetpremi]

Silly Hinglish Puns for idle Desis only.
=============================

Which tree is always wearing an undershirt?
Banyan Tree

Why is it so expensive for Ravana to go dining in a posh restaurant?
Because they charge per head


Why are desi bananas so lonely?
Because they are all a-kela.

What did Dominos pizza say to make its competitors go away?
Pizza HUT!

At a job interview at Microsoft, the interviewer asked the applicant to “name four versions of Java.”
Desi response: “Mar java, mit java, lut java, mai sadkay java.

Why did the desi astronaut send a rose to the moon?
Because he loved gulab ja-moon.

What did one milk carton say to the other?
“What’s up, dood?”

How do fat desis get to work?
On motacycles

What’s the biggest contradiction in Tamil cinema?
Rajnikant. Because there’s nothing Rajni can’t do.


What did one pea say to the other?
I don’t know, they were muttering.


Which Indian food is a complete food?
Puri.

What do true Bollywood fans eat?
Aishwarya Raita, Anupam Kheer, Juhi Chavala, Mahesh Bhatura, Padmini Kholapuri,

Why is selling mangoes considered a humble profession?
Because mangoes are sold by the aam aadmi.

What do the police do to people who steal eggs?
Put them unda arrest.

What is our countrymen's emblem?
Aye mere watan ke logo

What did the mouse say to the cheese?
Tu cheez badi hai mast mast!!

What did the potato say when he picked up the phone?
Aloo?

[aspundir]

Great ............... nice ................ wonderful ....................

[internetpremi]

More puns from the internet
==================


... A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

... Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

... Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

... A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

... A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

... Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

... Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

... Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

... When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

... A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

... What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)


... In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

... She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

... A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

... If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

... The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.


... Every calendar's days are numbered..

... A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.

... A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

... He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

... A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium At large.

... Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

... Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis..

... Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

... Acupuncture is a jab well done.

[rajnish manga]

Originally Posted by internetpremi

Silly Hinglish Puns for idle Desis only.
=============================


What’s the biggest contradiction in Tamil cinema?
Rajnikant. Because there’s nothing Rajni can’t do.


What do true Bollywood fans eat?

Aishwarya Raita, Anupam Kheer, Juhi Chavala, Mahesh Bhatura, Padmini Kholapuri,


What did the potato say when he picked up the phone?
Aloo?

Fantastic and highly imaginative desi masala menu.