Funny Jokes....

[abhisays]

RIDDLE

Santa and Banta met on a village road. Santa was carrying a large gunny bag over his shoulder.

'Oye,

Santa,' hailed Banta, 'what is in the bag?'

'Murgiyan

— Chickens,' came the reply.
'If I guess how many, can I have one?' asked Banta

'You can have both of them.'

'OK,' said Banta, 'five.'

[abhisays]

INDIA — THE NEW MILLENNIUM

Cheer up my son, buck up my boy,
You are living in 'The Land of Joy'. You go to school where they do not teach,
In the House of God, they hatred preach. If you have merit, you will sigh and sob,
If you are backward, you might get a job. Out of caste, if you dare to wed,
Your kith and kin will chop your head. If you are honest, in north or in south,
You will live from hand to mouth. If you are wily and your means sinister,
You are likely to become a chief minister. But remember the new maxim, my lad,

Defection is good, conversion is bad.

[abhisays]

LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER

While being interviewed an actress was asked whether she intended to get married in the near future.

The lady replied, 'Never, I will follow in the footsteps of my mother. Like her, I will remain single.'

[abhisays]

LABOUR WOES

The Indian and Cuban labour ministers were in the midst of a meeting.
Cuban labour minister: 'Labour problems in our nation produce hundreds of types of tensions for me.'
Indian labour minister: 'That's nothing. Labour problems in our nation produce 50,000 babies every day.'

[abhisays]

NEW INVENTION

■Banta said to Santa, I have invented a new kind of computer which behaves like a human being.'

'In what way?' asked Santa.

'Whenever it makes a mistake,' replied Banta, 'it blames other computers.'

[abhisays]

HAND BAGGAGE

Uijaagar boarded a crowded bus with a bagful of purchases. There was no vacant seat. As the old bus rattled and swayed, he supported himself precariously, holding the bag in one hand, the other hand holding the bar provided near the ceiling.
'Ticket ... ticket ... ticket,' the conductor made several rounds past Ujaagar. His wallet in his hip pocket and both hands engaged, Ujaagar didn't know what to do.
'Ticket, Sardarji,' the conductor asked again. Ujaagar thrust the bag into the conductor's hand and struggled to take the wallet out, when the conductor protested: T can't be carrying passengers' baggage like this — I'm the conductor, after all!'
'Okay, then give me the bag, and here, will you please hold the bar,' replied Ujaagar.

[abhisays]

WHAT A CHEAP ...!

Banta went to a cheap restaurant to have dinner. He ran into his friend Ram Lai who was working there as a waiter.
'Ram Lai, aren't you ashamed of working in this third-class restaurant?' he asked.
T may work in a third-class restaurant,' replied Ram Lai, 'but I don't eat in one like you.'

[abhisays]

CATCH THEM ...!

An Englishman, an American, and a Sardarji were called upon to test a lie detector.
The Englishman said, T think I can empty 20 bottles of beer.'

BUZZZZZ went the lie detector.

'OK,' he said, '10 bottles.' And the machine was silent. , .
The American said, 'I think I can eat 15 hamburgers.'

BUZZZZZ went the lie detector.

'Alright, 8 hamburgers.' And the machine was silent.

The Sardarji said, ‘I think ...'

BUZZZZZ went the machine!

[abhisays]

SMART MOVE

Rakesh: 'Broken off your engagement to Meena?'
Mahesh: 'She would not have me.'

Rakesh: 'You should have told her about your rich uncle in Bombay.'
Mahesh: I did. She is my aunt now.'

[abhisays]

BETTING BLUES
5anta saw that his friend Ram Lai was very depressed.
'What happened?' asked Santa.

'Yaar,

I lost Rs 800 in a bet yesterday.'

'How come?'

'Well, yesterday, the one day match between India and England was being shown live on TV I bet Rs 500 that India would win, but I lost the bet.'

'But that's only Rs 500, where did the rest go?'

'Yaar, I bet on the highlights too!'