06-11-2011, 11:27 AM | #181 |
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
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06-11-2011, 09:29 PM | #182 |
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
I wonder if the waiter was a chemist too!
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16-11-2011, 09:33 PM | #183 |
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Place your mouse on the E below , click and drag to the U.
E ven you can't see Him, GOD is there for U
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घर से निकले थे लौट कर आने को मंजिल तो याद रही, घर का पता भूल गए बिगड़ैल Last edited by ndhebar; 16-11-2011 at 09:35 PM. |
16-11-2011, 09:37 PM | #184 |
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
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घर से निकले थे लौट कर आने को मंजिल तो याद रही, घर का पता भूल गए बिगड़ैल |
17-11-2011, 09:05 AM | #185 |
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
great...........
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29-11-2011, 06:03 PM | #186 |
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
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घर से निकले थे लौट कर आने को मंजिल तो याद रही, घर का पता भूल गए बिगड़ैल |
11-12-2011, 09:00 AM | #187 |
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford ...........
"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."
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27-02-2012, 07:42 AM | #188 |
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
One bright morning...
in the middle of the night, two dead boys came out to fight. they stood back to back and faced each other drew their swords and shot each other. the deaf policeman heard the noise and came to kill those two dead boys. If u don't believe my story its true ask the blind man he saw it too!
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घर से निकले थे लौट कर आने को मंजिल तो याद रही, घर का पता भूल गए बिगड़ैल |
13-03-2012, 06:44 PM | #189 |
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Mistakes on a resume
These are from actual resumes: "Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs. "I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability." "Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap." "I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich." "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job." "Number of dependents: 40." "Marital Status: Often. Children: Various." RESUME BLOOPERS "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook." REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB: "Responsibility makes me nervous." "They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions." REASONS FOR LEAVING MY LAST JOB: "Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches." "I was working for my mom until she decided to move." "The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers." JOB RESPONSIBILITIES: "While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility." "I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award." SPECIAL REQUESTS & JOB OBJECTIVES: "Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job." "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage." "I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant." PHYSICAL DISABILITIES: "Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep." PERSONAL INTERESTS: "Donating blood. 14 gallons so far." SMALL TYPOS THAT CAN CHANGE THE MEANING: "Education: College, August 1880-May 1984." "Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse." "Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget." "I'm a rabid typist." "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation."
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19-03-2012, 06:14 PM | #190 |
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Interesting comments by various personalities on Sachin’s century;
1. Digvijay Singh – Sachin is an RSS agent. All these days he was waiting to score his century against a Muslim country. 2. Manmohan Singh – I congratulate Sachin and also appreciate leadership of Shrimati Sonia Gandhi. 3. Rahul Gandhi – My grandmother created Bangladesh. She deserves the credit for this century. ... 4. Raj Thakrey – Sachin has proved himself to be a true Marathi Manus after scoring this century. So what if India has lost, Maharashtrians can not take the responsibility of the whole nation. 5. Mulayam Singh Yadav – If Sachin was from UP, I would have made tickets of all Cricket matches ‘Tax free’. 6. Anna Hazare – Sachin deserves to be the next lokpal of the country. 7. Baba Ramdev – If you multiply all the runs Sachin has made by a billion is what is the total black money in foreign country. 8. Kapil Sibbal – Social media need to control comments on Sachin’s century. It will harm the fabric of secularism in India. 9. Swami Agnivesh – Now that Bangladesh has helped Sachin score his 100th century, they have proved to be a true friend of India. Lets welcome their citizen in India and let them live wherever they can. Lets issue them voter’s ID card. 10. Kris Shrikant – We selectors hope that by 2050, Sachin will also score his 150th century. 11. Arjun Tendulkar – I want to play with my father in 2020 world cup. 12. Sachin Tendulkar himself – Aaeellaaaa…. Now what excuse I will make to not retire.
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