My Hindi Forum

Go Back   My Hindi Forum > Art & Literature > Mehfil

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 28-12-2012, 09:43 PM   #1
rajnish manga
Super Moderator
 
rajnish manga's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Faridabad, Haryana, India
Posts: 13,293
Rep Power: 241
rajnish manga has a reputation beyond reputerajnish manga has a reputation beyond reputerajnish manga has a reputation beyond reputerajnish manga has a reputation beyond reputerajnish manga has a reputation beyond reputerajnish manga has a reputation beyond reputerajnish manga has a reputation beyond reputerajnish manga has a reputation beyond reputerajnish manga has a reputation beyond reputerajnish manga has a reputation beyond reputerajnish manga has a reputation beyond repute
Default ग़ज़ल: सूर्य का अवतरण ढूँढते रह गए

सूर्य का अवतरण ढूँढते रह गए.
हम उजाले के कण ढूँढते रह गए.

मोतियों की तरह रास्ते भर कहीं,
खो गए थे जो क्षण ढूँढते रह गए.

ज़िंदगी जब जटिलताओं से घिर गयी,
कायरों का मरण ढूँढते रह गए.

नंगे लोगों की बस्ती में अपने लिये,
हम धवल आवरण ढूँढते रह गए.

अपने होने का परचम हिलाते हुये,
इक निरापद शरण ढूँढते रह गए.

खिल सके मुस्कराहट अनायास जब,
ऐसे दो चार क्षण ढूँढते रह गए.
rajnish manga is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-12-2012, 10:17 PM   #2
abhisays
Administrator
 
abhisays's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 16,772
Rep Power: 137
abhisays has a reputation beyond reputeabhisays has a reputation beyond reputeabhisays has a reputation beyond reputeabhisays has a reputation beyond reputeabhisays has a reputation beyond reputeabhisays has a reputation beyond reputeabhisays has a reputation beyond reputeabhisays has a reputation beyond reputeabhisays has a reputation beyond reputeabhisays has a reputation beyond reputeabhisays has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via Yahoo to abhisays
Default Re: ग़ज़ल: सूर्य का अवतरण ढूँढते रह गए

Quote:
Originally Posted by rajnish manga View Post
सूर्य का अवतरण ढूँढते रह गए.
हम उजाले के कण ढूँढते रह गए.

मोतियों की तरह रास्ते भर कहीं,
खो गए थे जो क्षण ढूँढते रह गए.

ज़िंदगी जब जटिलताओं से घिर गयी,
कायरों का मरण ढूँढते रह गए.

नंगे लोगों की बस्ती में अपने लिये,
हम धवल आवरण ढूँढते रह गए.

अपने होने का परचम हिलाते हुये,
इक निरापद शरण ढूँढते रह गए.

खिल सके मुस्कराहट अनायास जब,
ऐसे दो चार क्षण ढूँढते रह गए.
काफी जानदार और शानदार कविता है।
__________________
अब माई हिंदी फोरम, फेसबुक पर भी है. https://www.facebook.com/hindiforum
abhisays is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2012, 03:46 AM   #3
Dark Saint Alaick
Super Moderator
 
Dark Saint Alaick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Sherman Oaks (LA-CA-USA)
Posts: 51,823
Rep Power: 182
Dark Saint Alaick has a reputation beyond reputeDark Saint Alaick has a reputation beyond reputeDark Saint Alaick has a reputation beyond reputeDark Saint Alaick has a reputation beyond reputeDark Saint Alaick has a reputation beyond reputeDark Saint Alaick has a reputation beyond reputeDark Saint Alaick has a reputation beyond reputeDark Saint Alaick has a reputation beyond reputeDark Saint Alaick has a reputation beyond reputeDark Saint Alaick has a reputation beyond reputeDark Saint Alaick has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: ग़ज़ल: सूर्य का अवतरण ढूँढते रह गए

अति श्रेष्ठ सृजन है, रजनीशजी। सम्पूर्ण ग़ज़ल में भाव-भूमि जितनी सशक्त है, शब्द-विन्यास भी उतना ही प्रवहमान और सहज है। शुद्ध हिन्दी के अत्यंत कठिन अनेक शब्द आपके प्रयोग-कौशल से इस ग़ज़ल के पाठक को चिर-परिचित लगते हैं, यह आपकी बड़ी उपलब्धि है। कृपया इस अनुपम सृजन के रसास्वादन का सुख-भोग करने के लिए मेरा आभार स्वीकार करें।
__________________
दूसरों से ऐसा व्यवहार कतई मत करो, जैसा तुम स्वयं से किया जाना पसंद नहीं करोगे ! - प्रभु यीशु
Dark Saint Alaick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2012, 07:45 AM   #4
Awara
Special Member
 
Awara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: फूटपाथ
Posts: 3,861
Rep Power: 23
Awara is a splendid one to beholdAwara is a splendid one to beholdAwara is a splendid one to beholdAwara is a splendid one to beholdAwara is a splendid one to beholdAwara is a splendid one to beholdAwara is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: ग़ज़ल: सूर्य का अवतरण ढूँढते रह गए

बहुत ही अच्छी रचना है रजनीश जी।
Awara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2012, 05:40 PM   #5
bindujain
VIP Member
 
bindujain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: MP INDIA
Posts: 42,448
Rep Power: 144
bindujain has a reputation beyond reputebindujain has a reputation beyond reputebindujain has a reputation beyond reputebindujain has a reputation beyond reputebindujain has a reputation beyond reputebindujain has a reputation beyond reputebindujain has a reputation beyond reputebindujain has a reputation beyond reputebindujain has a reputation beyond reputebindujain has a reputation beyond reputebindujain has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: ग़ज़ल: सूर्य का अवतरण ढूँढते रह गए

खिल सके मुस्कराहट अनायास जब,
ऐसे दो चार क्षण ढूँढते रह गए.

बहुत ही शानदार .......
__________________
मैं क़तरा होकर भी तूफां से जंग लेता हूं ! मेरा बचना समंदर की जिम्मेदारी है !!
दुआ करो कि सलामत रहे मेरी हिम्मत ! यह एक चिराग कई आंधियों पर भारी है !!
bindujain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2012, 07:29 PM   #6
jai_bhardwaj
Exclusive Member
 
jai_bhardwaj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: ययावर
Posts: 8,512
Rep Power: 99
jai_bhardwaj has disabled reputation
Default Re: ग़ज़ल: सूर्य का अवतरण ढूँढते रह गए

रजनीश जी, अत्यंत मनोहारी पंक्तियाँ प्रस्तुत की हैं आपने। पढ़ते पढ़ते मन मुग्ध हो गया। इस मुक्तामणि के लिए हार्दिक अभिनन्दन बन्धु।
__________________
तरुवर फल नहि खात है, नदी न संचय नीर ।
परमारथ के कारनै, साधुन धरा शरीर ।।
विद्या ददाति विनयम, विनयात्यात पात्रताम ।
पात्रतात धनम आप्नोति, धनात धर्मः, ततः सुखम ।।

कभी कभी -->http://kadaachit.blogspot.in/
यहाँ मिलूँगा: https://www.facebook.com/jai.bhardwaj.754
jai_bhardwaj is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2012, 07:44 PM   #7
aspundir
VIP Member
 
aspundir's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: churu
Posts: 122,463
Rep Power: 244
aspundir has a reputation beyond reputeaspundir has a reputation beyond reputeaspundir has a reputation beyond reputeaspundir has a reputation beyond reputeaspundir has a reputation beyond reputeaspundir has a reputation beyond reputeaspundir has a reputation beyond reputeaspundir has a reputation beyond reputeaspundir has a reputation beyond reputeaspundir has a reputation beyond reputeaspundir has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: ग़ज़ल: सूर्य का अवतरण ढूँढते रह गए

बहुत ही अच्छी रचना है
aspundir is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2012, 08:05 PM   #8
Dr. Rakesh Srivastava
अति विशिष्ट कवि
 
Dr. Rakesh Srivastava's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Vinay khand-2,Gomti Nagar,Lucknow.
Posts: 553
Rep Power: 35
Dr. Rakesh Srivastava has a reputation beyond reputeDr. Rakesh Srivastava has a reputation beyond reputeDr. Rakesh Srivastava has a reputation beyond reputeDr. Rakesh Srivastava has a reputation beyond reputeDr. Rakesh Srivastava has a reputation beyond reputeDr. Rakesh Srivastava has a reputation beyond reputeDr. Rakesh Srivastava has a reputation beyond reputeDr. Rakesh Srivastava has a reputation beyond reputeDr. Rakesh Srivastava has a reputation beyond reputeDr. Rakesh Srivastava has a reputation beyond reputeDr. Rakesh Srivastava has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: ग़ज़ल: सूर्य का अवतरण ढूँढते रह गए

बहुत ही सार्थक, शानदार और धारदार ग़ज़ल . इस रचना विशेष हेतु हार्दिक बधाई .
Dr. Rakesh Srivastava is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-12-2012, 07:18 PM   #9
malethia
Special Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,570
Rep Power: 42
malethia has a reputation beyond reputemalethia has a reputation beyond reputemalethia has a reputation beyond reputemalethia has a reputation beyond reputemalethia has a reputation beyond reputemalethia has a reputation beyond reputemalethia has a reputation beyond reputemalethia has a reputation beyond reputemalethia has a reputation beyond reputemalethia has a reputation beyond reputemalethia has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: ग़ज़ल: सूर्य का अवतरण ढूँढते रह गए

Quote:
Originally Posted by rajnish manga View Post

ज़िंदगी जब जटिलताओं से घिर गयी,
कायरों का मरण ढूँढते रह गए.

नंगे लोगों की बस्ती में अपने लिये,
हम धवल आवरण ढूँढते रह गए.

अपने होने का परचम हिलाते हुये,
इक निरापद शरण ढूँढते रह गये .
अति सुन्दर पंक्तिया .........
malethia is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT +5. The time now is 11:17 PM.


Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
MyHindiForum.com is not responsible for the views and opinion of the posters. The posters and only posters shall be liable for any copyright infringement.