If Operating Systems will run Airlines...

[dipu]

If Operating Systems will run Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows 98 Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport, which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly colored and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you. This is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The in-flight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Windows Vista Air

Exactly like XP Air, only prettier and big guys in heavy suits keep asking you if you are really you and if you really want to do what you are doing. You are questioned about everything you try to bring on board, you have to take off your shoes so they can scan and wand you constantly. They track everything you do and when you call your travel agent, he says "NO!" to everything you ask. It doesn't blow up, but flies so slow you wish it would. Sadly, it is just like a real airport in the US.


Windows 7 Air

The passengers find this airline much fancier than the Vista Air. The Airline promises a much better experience before they board a plane. However, after some time the passengers realize that it is the same plane, same staff, same service and same seats like Windows Vista Air only the company has changed the colors.


Windows 8 Air

The passenger board plane without actually realizing what is new in this airline. They come inside the plane, and see that this plane does not look like a plane at all. They do not see any seats there. They call the agent and the agent tells them that there are no seats in this plane because this plane is highly secured. They somehow find a place to sit down. The airline staff is seen here and there but those people are not bothered about the passengers. Now the passengers don’t know what to do here and they keep thinking about it. They all are confused as they do not find anything to read and watch there. Soon they also forget where they have boarded and where they are going. All of them start praying that they will land somewhere on the earth safely.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own Airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say, "You had to do what with the seat?"