Funny Jokes....

[abhisays]

SANTA & BANTA are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.

Then Santa says to Banta, "Sorry about that. I'm looking
for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was
going."

Banta says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for
my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little tired and weary."

"Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"

"Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs,
big busted, and she's wearing a see-thru blouse and really short
shorts. What does your wife look like?"

"Doesn't matter, let's look for yours!

[abhisays]

WHEN BANTA WAS A CHILD....

mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai....ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
nahin, woh apne khilone pahechan lega

[abhisays]

Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20 male se gir gaya tha
Banta: to fir bach gaya ya mar gaya?
Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai

[abhisays]

Bikhari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai
SANTA: 10 rupaye dunga , pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai

[abhisays]

SANTA : agar bina daton ka kuta kate to kya karna chahiye?
BANTA : simple, bina sui ke injection lena chahiye

[abhisays]

There was a meeting of all the Sardar freedom fighters. They were planning
for a free Punjab.

Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would
we develop it?" That was a tough one indeed.

Banta Singh had a brainwave... "No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would
take over us and then we would become a State of USA and develop
automatically."

All the sardars became happy with this very simple solution but an old
sardar was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.

The old sardar replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL... WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY
CHANCE WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"

[abhisays]

The opening Indian batsmen in a One-Day match against the Pakistan were

Sachin Tendulkar and a new find,sardar Stroke Singh.

Shoaib Akhtar, the pace bowler,opened the bowling for his side. The
first ball went sizzling past the off-stump.ZOOOM...........

and was collected by the wicketkeeper.

Sardar Stroke Singh did not as much as budge from his place. Shoaib
bowled his second, third and fourth balls...

ZOOOM... ZOOOM... ZOOOM.......

all about the wicket with Stroke Singh standing still as a statue.

The fifth delivery was declared "No ball" by the umpire.

Like a trueprofessional Sardar Stroke Singh went tapping the pitch
midway towards Sachin Tendulkar and said, "I knew from the very
beginning the fellow did not have a ball in his hand." ...

[abhisays]

A boy came home from school with his exam results.
What did u get?" asked his father.
My marks are under water," said the boy.
What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' level"

[abhisays]

once banta singh wanted to start a buisness of potatoes in england. But he couldn't speak english.he asked for a solution from santa singh. Santa said that whenever someone would ask him that how much the potatoes cost, he shold say, 10 rupees "per kg."
when someone would ask whether they are good,he should say "maybe yes, maybe not."
"it is ok" for those who take it but to those who do not take it, he should say,"if you don't take, someone other will take."
banta went to london and soon his buisness flourished. One day a lady approached him and asked him the way to piccallidy circus.on this banta replied,"10 rs. Per kg."
on this the lady replied,"what! Are you gone nuts."
banta replied,"maybe yes, maybe not."
the irritated lady said,"i will take you to the asylum."
on this banta coolly replied,"madam, if you don't take someone else will take."

[abhisays]

Santaoctor,whenever I drink my coffee,I get a sharp pain in my eye.What should I do?

Doctor:Just remove the spoon from your cup.