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Old 25-06-2011, 02:18 PM   #91
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

From: TejasMehta@aol.com
Subject: Yeh Prem Patra Padhkar, Tum Naraz Na Hona...

Johnny Mera Naam
Piya Ka Ghar
Choukee No. 11
Teesri Manzil
China Town



Date: Nav Do Gyarah

My Dear ‘Anamica':

You must be surprised to receive this ‘Prem Patra' from me. Let me make my
‘Pahechan' to you as ‘Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge'. Though I am an
‘Awaara', I am also your ‘Deewana'.

I am making you a ‘Prarthna' to enter my ‘Zindagi' as a ‘Priyatama'. Even
though I do not have any ‘Sambandh' with you, I still consider you as my
‘Dream Girl' with ‘Lal Dupatta Malmal Ka'. There are only ‘Do Raaste' left
for me. One is to get your love by ‘Tyag' or to go the ‘Rangeela' way.

Wouldn't you like to be ‘Mere Jeevan Saathi' as you are ‘Lakhon Mein Ek'? I
also hope that you will ‘Guide' me in ‘Bahar' as we are made for ‘Ek Duje Ke
Liye'.

We will live in ‘Naya Zamana' where we will have a ‘Suhana Safar'. In this
‘Himalay Ki God Mein', our ‘Bandhan' is going to tied with ‘Preet Ki Dor'. I
hope that we will have nothing but ‘Anand' in ‘Ye Dillagi'.

Aren't you bored of ‘Akele Hum Akele Tum' life? Let this ‘Baazigar' be your
‘Boy Friend' and we start ‘Pehli Mohabbat'. This ‘Chahat' is going to lead
to a ‘Milan' where you are going to call me everyday for ‘Aao Pyar Karen'.

Now, ‘Phir Kab Miloge' as ‘Tumse Accha Kaun Hein'? As you know my love is
‘Himalay Se Uncha' and hopefully our ‘Mulakat' will be ‘An Evening in Paris'.
‘Aa Gale Lag Jaa'!

‘Hum Aapke Hain Koun...?'

--Prem Pujaari
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Old 25-06-2011, 02:23 PM   #92
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

Laloo Hamara Neta

What would be changed if Laloo Prasad
becomes India's Prime Minister:
1. National Anthem : Khana Pina Adhik Zaroorat hai...
2. National Attire : Dhoti & Kurta

3. National Drink : Fresh Buffalo Milk

4. National Animal : Buffalo, from Bihar

5. National Sport : Milking Buffalo (morning)

Buffalo Race (evening)

6. Corporate Language : Enlish-va

7. National Toy : A. K. 58

8. National Family Planning Policy : Hum Do, Humare Dozen

9. National Documentry Film : Laloo Ban Gaya Gentleman

10. National Vehicle : Buffalo Cart

11. National Recreation : Pro-creation


Laloo's Slogan:


Jab Tak Rahega Samosa Me Aloo,

Tab Tak Rahega Hamara P.M. Laloo
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Old 25-06-2011, 02:25 PM   #93
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

Top Ten Ways You Know You Are A Desi Engineer

10. You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside.
9. You're aware that computers are actually only good for playing games.
8. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your car tires.
7. You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
6. You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
5. Your IQ is lower than your weight.
4. You stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE.
3. You can remember seven computer passwords but not your anniversary.
2. Your wife hasn't got the foggiest idea what you do at work.
1.You introduce your wife as mylady@wife.home.
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Old 26-06-2011, 10:10 AM   #94
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

Thanks guys for sharing your humorous clips, stories, jokes and incidents.
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Old 29-06-2011, 01:17 PM   #95
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

SherlockPuzzle


A wife and her husband were driving in their car on the highway. All of a sudden, they ran out of gas. So the husband said to the wife, 'Now, you stay here. I will go down the highway to the nearest gas station, and I will be about 1 hour. Just listen to the radio and read some books, and remember to lock all the windows and doors. I will leave the keys with you.' So, off the husband went, and the wife first locked ALL the windows and doors. Next, she turned on the radio, and this is what she heard on the news report:

'THERE IS A MURDERER ON THE LOOSE. HE WAS LAST SEEN ON THE HIGHWAY, WEARING ALL BLACK, ABOUT 5 FOOT 11 INCHES. PLEASE, BE AWARE AND CONTACT THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY.' The wife got very scared. She turned off the radio and double checked the locked doors. Then she saw the murderer, only a couple feet away from the car. An hour later, the husband returned to his car. Inside the car, his wife was DEAD, she had been murdered. All the windows were still locked, and the doors. No windows were broken, and the car was in PERFECT condition. No scratches or anything, it was the same way as when he left it. How did the murderer kill the wife?Yo dont need to be sherlock holmes to solve this ??


For Solution:
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bcoz the car had no roof
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बिगड़ैल
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Old 02-07-2011, 06:50 PM   #96
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them with a sack over each bird and only the legs showing. He sat right on the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each set of bird legs and give the common name, habitat, genus, species, etc.

The student looked at each set of bird legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying, and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it, the madder he got. Finally, he could stand it no longer. He went up to the professor's desk and said, "What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?" With that the student threw his test on the professor's desk and walked out the door.

The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn't know every student's name, so as the student reached the door the professor called, "Mister, what's your name?"

The enraged student pulled up his pant legs and said, "You guess, buddy! You guess!"
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Old 03-07-2011, 08:59 AM   #97
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers.

The guy says, "Who is this?"

"This is the maid," answered the woman.

"We don't have a maid!"

"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."

"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"

"Um...she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband."

The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make 25,000 bucks?"

"What do I have to do?"

"I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she is with."

The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by two gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone.

"What should I do with the bodies?"

"Throw them in the swimming pool!"

"What! There's no pool here?" "Uh... is this 2263841?"
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Old 03-07-2011, 06:37 PM   #98
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

Aakhir Munni Badnaam Kyun Hui [The Ultimate Truth]
Munni Badnaam Hui, Aakhir Kyun..?

Munni nahaney gyi

Darwaza Baja

Munni: KON..??

Jawab Aaya: Bibi Jee, Postman.

Munni ne kaprey Pehney, Letter Le Liya.

Phir Baathroom Gyi

Kaprey Utaarey

Darwaza Baja

Munni: KON

Jawab Aaya: Bibi Jee, Dhobi.

Munni ne Kaprey Pehney, Hisaab kiya.

Phir Bathroom Gyi

Kaprey Utaarey

Darwaaza Baja

Munni:KON

Jawab Aaya: Main hhuun Anwar.

Munni ne socha Anwar tou parosi ka larka hai aur ANDHA hai aisey hi chali jaati hhuun.

Munni kaprey pehney baghair darwaaze pe gyi.

Anwar: Yeh Lijiye Meethaaii.

Munni : Kiss liye..?

Anwar: Meri nazar Waapas Aa gyi hai.

AUR ISS TARHA MUNNI BADNAAM HUI.
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Old 03-07-2011, 06:38 PM   #99
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

2 Most Difficult Things to Achieve


Two things in life that are difficult to achieve:

1. To plant your idea in someone's head.

2. To plant someone's money in your own pocket.

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* The one who succeeds in the former- is a 'teacher'.

* The one who succeeds in the latter- is a 'boss'.

* The one who succeeds in both is a 'wife'.

* The one who fails in both is a 'husband'!
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Old 03-07-2011, 06:39 PM   #100
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

Women Drivers




Everyone reading this will enjoy it - no matter which gender you are.........

This morning on the Interstate,

I looked over to my left and there was a

Woman

In a brand new
Cadillac

Doing 65 mph


With her

Face up next to her

Rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away

For a couple seconds...

to continue shaving

And when I looked back she was

Halfway over in my lane,


Still working on that makeup.

As a man,

I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much;

I dropped

My electric shaver

Which knocked

The donut

Out of my other hand.

In all The confusion of trying

To straighten out the car

Using my knees against

The steering wheel,

It knocked

My Cell Phone

Away from my ear


Which fell

Into the coffee

Between my legs!

Splashed,

And burned

Big Jim and the Twins,

Ruined the damn phone,

Soaked my trousers,

And disconnected an
Important call.

Damn women drivers
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