Humour Unlimited

[abhisays]

page frm husband's diary...

Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, grabbed my golf bag, tried not to wake my wife, sneaked quietly into garage & proceeded to back out into....a torrential rain ! Wind was blowing at 50 mph.
I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio & discovered that the weather would be bad through out the day.
Disappointed I went back into the house,quietly undressed, and sneaked back into bed.
There I cuddled up to my wife's back& whispered: 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My beautiful and loving wife replied: I know... and can you believe my stupid husband is out there playing golf in that terrible weather !'
I still don't know to this day if she was joking,
but I have stopped playing golf !

[abhisays]

Santa comes in to the office and tells his boss, "Sir, Banta is waiting outside your room with a basket full of underwear". Boss " Oh no! I told him to debrief his team and meet me".

[abhisays]

Teacher: How many planets are there?
.
Student: Mars, Venus, Jupiter.
.
Teacher: Aur batao!
.
.
Student: Bas sab badiya, aap batao kya chal raha hai??

[abhisays]

Arrange marriage means that we are walking and suddenly a snake bites.
But love marriage means to go to snake and say
Ly kat ly
Kat naaaa!

Nai nai tu kat

[abhisays]

Dear Santa Claus,
What do you want this Christmas ?






Yours truly,
Rajnikanth

[abhisays]

Who is Ghanta claus??

A santa who doesnt bring you anything

[abhisays]

While hair cutting, official Barber asked Kapil Sibal: “What’s this Swiss Bank issue?” Kapil Sibal shouted: “You! Are you cutting my hair or making inquiry?” Barber: “Sorry Sir, I just asked.” Next day, while cutting the hair, he asked Pranab Mukherjee: “Sir, what’s this Black money issue?” Pranab shouted: “Why did you ask me this question?” Barber: “Sorry Sir, just asked you.” Next day, CBI interrogated the Barber, “Are you an agent of Baba Ramdev?” Barber: “No, Sir.” CBI: “Are you the agent of Anna?” Barber: “No, Sir.” CBI: “Then while cutting the hair, why did you ask Congress Ministers about Swiss Bank and Black money issues?” Barber: “Sir, I do not know why, but when I ask about Swiss Bank or Black money, Congress Ministers’ hairs stand up straight and that helps me to cut the hair easily. That’s why I keep asking.”

[ndhebar]

Originally Posted by abhisays

While hair cutting, official Barber asked Kapil Sibal: “What’s this Swiss Bank issue?” Kapil Sibal shouted: “You! Are you cutting my hair or making inquiry?” Barber: “Sorry Sir, I just asked.” Next day, while cutting the hair, he asked Pranab Mukherjee: “Sir, what’s this Black money issue?” Pranab shouted: “Why did you ask me this question?” Barber: “Sorry Sir, just asked you.” Next day, CBI interrogated the Barber, “Are you an agent of Baba Ramdev?” Barber: “No, Sir.” CBI: “Are you the agent of Anna?” Barber: “No, Sir.” CBI: “Then while cutting the hair, why did you ask Congress Ministers about Swiss Bank and Black money issues?” Barber: “Sir, I do not know why, but when I ask about Swiss Bank or Black money, Congress Ministers’ hairs stand up straight and that helps me to cut the hair easily. That’s why I keep asking.”

amazing.........
funny stuff

[abhisays]

Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her Bedroom
From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two
She reaches for a Baseball Bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine

"Hi Darling", he says
"Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom. Hope you have said Hello.X_X =))

[abhisays]

Enginering and Medical college principal/dean argued that their students are Fearless . . .

Medical college’s principal/dean called his 2 students and told them to jump in the SEA full of sharks. .

They jumped . . .
...
The principal said ” see da guts ”

Engineering college’s principal called 2 students and told them to jump . . .

They said," Pagal hai kyaaa BUDHHAY! ”

The principal said ‘’see da guts”..