Funny Jokes....

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 06:44 AM

I am sharing some wonderful funny jokes....njoy

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 06:49 AM

One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole.

The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another animal before. But today, by chance a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.

The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant both of you three wishes. Bear, you can go first."

The bear thought for a moment, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, apart from me, to be female."

For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on.

The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.

It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."

The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and roared the engine.

The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for such idiotic items, because after all, he could have asked for money and bought the bike.

For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, apart from me, were female."

The rabbit grinned, roared the engine, and said, "I wish that the bear was gay."

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 06:50 AM

Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields.

The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast! I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."

The other cow replied, "Heck, I ain't worried. It won't affect us ducks."

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 06:52 AM

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.

"The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."

God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.

The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again."

God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked,

"Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"

The cat replied, "Oh, it is wonderful. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on wheels you have been sending over are delicious!"

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 06:56 AM

Two little snakes were wiggling along the side of the road when the first little snake turned to the second little snake and asked, "Are we poisonous?"

"Why?" asked the second little snake, to which the first little snake replied, "Because I just bit my lip!"

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 06:57 AM

Once there were these two birds that, every year for quite a few years, had one egg, which they hatched and nurtured and loved until the little chick was ready to leave the nest.

Then, one year, they had two eggs! Well, they were just so excited they could hardly stand it; this year they would each have an egg to take care of and love. They kept close watch on those two eggs so that no harm came to them.

Then one day when the eggs were ready to hatch, an earthquake shook the tree that the nest was in; the two birds flew away to safety, all the while worrying about those two eggs that were about to hatch.

When the tremor was finished, they hurried back to the nest.

As they neared it, they heard one strong "Cheep" coming from the nest. They were worried that something might have happened to the other egg, but when they got to the nest, they found that there were two chicks cheeping in unison.

This just goes to show that two can cheep as lively as one.

saurav · 27-08-2010, 09:51 PM

Employment policy

In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous...or what?"

"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them. Precisely the reason why we save a lot in terms of training cost."

saurav · 27-08-2010, 09:52 PM

Dentist

A nervous lady visited a dentist to get her tooth extracted. As the dentist leaned to extract her tooth, she suddenly became very nervous and said "I would be less scared delivering a baby than getting a tooth extracted."

To this the dentist delightfully said, "Madam, you better decide fast before I adjust the chair!"

saurav · 27-08-2010, 09:52 PM

Students

These three guys go down to Mexico one night and get drunk and wake up in jail. They found out that they are to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done.

The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I am from the Grand Canyon College and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and nothing happens, so they figure God must not want this guy to die, so they let him go.

The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. "I am from the University of Arizona School of Law and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."

The switch is thrown and again nothing happens. They figure that the law is on this guy's side, so they let him go.

The last one is strapped in and say's "Well, I'm an ASU Sun Devil Electrical Engineer, and I'll tell you right now you'll never electrocute anybody if you don't connect those two wires."

God rests his soul.

saurav · 27-08-2010, 09:53 PM

Salesman

A man was carrying 2 babies, one in each arm while waiting for a train. Along came this woman, seeing the 2 cute babies, started asking the man, "Aren't they cute, what are their names?" The man giving the lady an angry look replied, "I don't know."

The lady asked again, "Which is a boy and which is a girl?" The man looking angrier than before replied, "I don't know." The woman then started to scold the man, "What kind of a father are you?"

The man replied, "I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are 2 complaints that I am taking back to my company."

09-07-2010, 06:44 AM	#1
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 14	Funny Jokes.... I am sharing some wonderful funny jokes....njoy

09-07-2010, 06:49 AM	#2
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 14	One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole. The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another animal before. But today, by chance a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant both of you three wishes. Bear, you can go first." The bear thought for a moment, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, apart from me, to be female." For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that. It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well." The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and roared the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for such idiotic items, because after all, he could have asked for money and bought the bike. For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, apart from me, were female." The rabbit grinned, roared the engine, and said, "I wish that the bear was gay."

09-07-2010, 06:50 AM	#3
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 14	Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast! I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replied, "Heck, I ain't worried. It won't affect us ducks."

09-07-2010, 06:52 AM	#4
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 14	A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking. "The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on." God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat. The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again." God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates. About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?" The cat replied, "Oh, it is wonderful. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on wheels you have been sending over are delicious!"

09-07-2010, 06:56 AM	#5
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 14	Two little snakes were wiggling along the side of the road when the first little snake turned to the second little snake and asked, "Are we poisonous?" "Why?" asked the second little snake, to which the first little snake replied, "Because I just bit my lip!"

09-07-2010, 06:57 AM	#6
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 14	Once there were these two birds that, every year for quite a few years, had one egg, which they hatched and nurtured and loved until the little chick was ready to leave the nest. Then, one year, they had two eggs! Well, they were just so excited they could hardly stand it; this year they would each have an egg to take care of and love. They kept close watch on those two eggs so that no harm came to them. Then one day when the eggs were ready to hatch, an earthquake shook the tree that the nest was in; the two birds flew away to safety, all the while worrying about those two eggs that were about to hatch. When the tremor was finished, they hurried back to the nest. As they neared it, they heard one strong "Cheep" coming from the nest. They were worried that something might have happened to the other egg, but when they got to the nest, they found that there were two chicks cheeping in unison. This just goes to show that two can cheep as lively as one.

27-08-2010, 09:51 PM	#7
saurav Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 22 Rep Power: 0	Employment policy In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous...or what?" "Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them. Precisely the reason why we save a lot in terms of training cost."

27-08-2010, 09:52 PM	#8
saurav Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 22 Rep Power: 0	Dentist A nervous lady visited a dentist to get her tooth extracted. As the dentist leaned to extract her tooth, she suddenly became very nervous and said "I would be less scared delivering a baby than getting a tooth extracted." To this the dentist delightfully said, "Madam, you better decide fast before I adjust the chair!"

27-08-2010, 09:53 PM	#10
saurav Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 22 Rep Power: 0	Salesman A man was carrying 2 babies, one in each arm while waiting for a train. Along came this woman, seeing the 2 cute babies, started asking the man, "Aren't they cute, what are their names?" The man giving the lady an angry look replied, "I don't know." The lady asked again, "Which is a boy and which is a girl?" The man looking angrier than before replied, "I don't know." The woman then started to scold the man, "What kind of a father are you?" The man replied, "I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are 2 complaints that I am taking back to my company."