Funny Jokes.... - Page 52

raju · 16-06-2012, 10:08 PM

Banta walks into a bar for a bar and takes a seat. However, just as the bartender put the beer on the bar, there was a loud disturbance outside. He ran out to see what was going on but soon went back to drink his beer.

When he got back he found his glass empty and a note saying: "Thanks for the beer!"

Banta was a little ticked-off but ordered another beer anyway. Again, just as the bartender put the beer down a loud crash was heard in the street. Thinking that someone ran into his parked car, Banta runs outside to check on things. Seeing that his car was okay he returned to the bar and again found his glass empty and another note that said: "Thanks again, this was as good as the first one."

Well he still hadn't had a beer to quench his thirst, so he ordered another. Just as the bartender put the beer down, a series of shots were heard outside. This time Banta wasn't going to lose his beer to anybody. So he spit into the beer and left a note saying, "Enjoy, I just spit into the beer." He then ran outside to see what had happened.

When Banta returned he was delighted to find that his beer was just where he left it.

However this time the note said: "You enjoy, I spit in it too!"

raju · 16-06-2012, 10:08 PM

An auto mechanic, received a repair order from Banta, that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for a test drive, mechanic made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk.
Back at the shop, he opened the car`s trunk, and soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with this notation: "Remove bowling ball from trunk".

raju · 16-06-2012, 10:09 PM

Banta went to see the movie Jurassic Park, which was running to packed houses in Chandigarh. One of the shots showed the dinosaurs running directly towards the audience and Banta lowered in his seat.
Seeing his state, his friend, Santa asked, "Kyon, kya baat hai? Dar kyoun lag raha hai? Cinema hi hai." (Why, what`s the matter? Why are you afraid? It s only a film.)

Banta replied, "AAdmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai...lekin voh to jaanwar hai, usko kya kya pata!" (I am human and have a mind, I know it s a film...but that is an animal, what does it know!)

raju · 16-06-2012, 10:09 PM

Banta goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated."

The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse's ass, and blow the pill up there."

Banta comes back the next day, and he looks very sick.

The vet says, "What happened?"

Banta says, "The horse blew first."

raju · 16-06-2012, 10:09 PM

Once Santa jee was telling wife that so much embarassing as on party invitation that BLACK TIE ONLY. but when i reached in party then all were wearing suits too

raju · 16-06-2012, 10:10 PM

Santa Singh was travelling in a crowded bus.
He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission).
Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket.

When Santa tried to pick it up the photograph slipped under a woman's saree.
He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph"

The rest is history.

He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital.

He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him,in a worse condition.
Banta explained what happened to him He had gone to a remote village to work.
He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel.

So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.
The Owner replied "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".

He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.
The Owner replied, "I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".

He went to the next house and asked
" Do you have "grown up" Daughters?".

The Owner asked,"WHY???"

Banta replied, "I wanted to stay here for a night....."

The rest is history.

raju · 16-06-2012, 10:10 PM

santa (scientist) cut a frogs leg n said JUMP. frog jumped. he cuts another leg n say JUMP. .. it jumped. repets for 3ed leg. Now he cuts the fourth leg and say JUMP, frog coudnt jump.

santa wrote the result of his reserch, "If frog losees all its leg it become DEAF"

raju · 16-06-2012, 10:11 PM

SANTA went to US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton.

Bill: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me.

He takes him to a forest.

Bill: Dig the ground. SANTA did it.

Bill: more...more...more... SANTA went up to 100 feet.

Bill: So now, try to search something.

SANTA: I got a wire.

Bill : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.

SANTA became frustrated. He invited Bill to India. Next year Bill was in India

SANTA : I want to show you our advancement. The same...he takes Bill to a forest.

SANTA : Dig it. Bill does.

SANTA : more...more...more... Bill goes up to almost 400 feet..

SANTA : try to find something. Bill tries.

SANTA : Did you get anything? Bill : No, there is nothing here.

SANTA : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS !!!

raju · 16-06-2012, 10:11 PM

Santa Banta ko 3 live bomb mile.

Dono us Bomb ko Police mein dene chale gaye.

Raaste mein Banta ne poocha ki yaar Santa agar koi bomb raste mai Phat jaye to..?

To Santa bola ki jhooth bol denge 2 hi mile the...!!!

raju · 16-06-2012, 10:11 PM

Detectives Sardars

A policeman was testing 3 Singh brothers who were training to become
detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the
first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your
suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first Singh answers, "That's
easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman
says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side
profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for
5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, "This is your suspect, how
would
you recognize him?"

The second Singh smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy
to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds,
"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are
showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer
you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third Singh
and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you
recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The Singh
looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears
contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he
really
doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an
interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and
I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office,
checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming
smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact
lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the Singh replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he
only has one eye and one ear."

16-06-2012, 10:08 PM	#511
raju Diligent Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,398 Rep Power: 17	Re: Funny Jokes.... Banta walks into a bar for a bar and takes a seat. However, just as the bartender put the beer on the bar, there was a loud disturbance outside. He ran out to see what was going on but soon went back to drink his beer. When he got back he found his glass empty and a note saying: "Thanks for the beer!" Banta was a little ticked-off but ordered another beer anyway. Again, just as the bartender put the beer down a loud crash was heard in the street. Thinking that someone ran into his parked car, Banta runs outside to check on things. Seeing that his car was okay he returned to the bar and again found his glass empty and another note that said: "Thanks again, this was as good as the first one." Well he still hadn't had a beer to quench his thirst, so he ordered another. Just as the bartender put the beer down, a series of shots were heard outside. This time Banta wasn't going to lose his beer to anybody. So he spit into the beer and left a note saying, "Enjoy, I just spit into the beer." He then ran outside to see what had happened. When Banta returned he was delighted to find that his beer was just where he left it. However this time the note said: "You enjoy, I spit in it too!"

16-06-2012, 10:08 PM	#512
raju Diligent Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,398 Rep Power: 17	Re: Funny Jokes.... An auto mechanic, received a repair order from Banta, that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for a test drive, mechanic made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk. Back at the shop, he opened the car`s trunk, and soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with this notation: "Remove bowling ball from trunk".

16-06-2012, 10:09 PM	#513
raju Diligent Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,398 Rep Power: 17	Re: Funny Jokes.... Banta went to see the movie Jurassic Park, which was running to packed houses in Chandigarh. One of the shots showed the dinosaurs running directly towards the audience and Banta lowered in his seat. Seeing his state, his friend, Santa asked, "Kyon, kya baat hai? Dar kyoun lag raha hai? Cinema hi hai." (Why, what`s the matter? Why are you afraid? It s only a film.) Banta replied, "AAdmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai...lekin voh to jaanwar hai, usko kya kya pata!" (I am human and have a mind, I know it s a film...but that is an animal, what does it know!)

16-06-2012, 10:09 PM	#514
raju Diligent Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,398 Rep Power: 17	Re: Funny Jokes.... Banta goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated." The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse's ass, and blow the pill up there." Banta comes back the next day, and he looks very sick. The vet says, "What happened?" Banta says, "The horse blew first."

16-06-2012, 10:09 PM	#515
raju Diligent Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,398 Rep Power: 17	Re: Funny Jokes.... Once Santa jee was telling wife that so much embarassing as on party invitation that BLACK TIE ONLY. but when i reached in party then all were wearing suits too

16-06-2012, 10:10 PM	#516
raju Diligent Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,398 Rep Power: 17	Re: Funny Jokes.... Santa Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket. When Santa tried to pick it up the photograph slipped under a woman's saree. He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph" The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital. He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him,in a worse condition. Banta explained what happened to him He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow you to stay". He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied, "I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay". He went to the next house and asked " Do you have "grown up" Daughters?". The Owner asked,"WHY???" Banta replied, "I wanted to stay here for a night....." The rest is history.

16-06-2012, 10:10 PM	#517
raju Diligent Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,398 Rep Power: 17	Re: Funny Jokes.... santa (scientist) cut a frogs leg n said JUMP. frog jumped. he cuts another leg n say JUMP. .. it jumped. repets for 3ed leg. Now he cuts the fourth leg and say JUMP, frog coudnt jump. santa wrote the result of his reserch, "If frog losees all its leg it become DEAF"

16-06-2012, 10:11 PM	#518
raju Diligent Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,398 Rep Power: 17	Re: Funny Jokes.... SANTA went to US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton. Bill: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. He takes him to a forest. Bill: Dig the ground. SANTA did it. Bill: more...more...more... SANTA went up to 100 feet. Bill: So now, try to search something. SANTA: I got a wire. Bill : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones. SANTA became frustrated. He invited Bill to India. Next year Bill was in India SANTA : I want to show you our advancement. The same...he takes Bill to a forest. SANTA : Dig it. Bill does. SANTA : more...more...more... Bill goes up to almost 400 feet.. SANTA : try to find something. Bill tries. SANTA : Did you get anything? Bill : No, there is nothing here. SANTA : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS !!!

16-06-2012, 10:11 PM	#519
raju Diligent Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,398 Rep Power: 17	Re: Funny Jokes.... Santa Banta ko 3 live bomb mile. Dono us Bomb ko Police mein dene chale gaye. Raaste mein Banta ne poocha ki yaar Santa agar koi bomb raste mai Phat jaye to..? To Santa bola ki jhooth bol denge 2 hi mile the...!!!

16-06-2012, 10:11 PM	#520
raju Diligent Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,398 Rep Power: 17	Re: Funny Jokes.... Detectives Sardars A policeman was testing 3 Singh brothers who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first Singh answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second Singh smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third Singh and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The Singh looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's easy," the Singh replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."