Mullah Nasruddin Jokes

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin's wife said to him at a buffet supper: "That's the fifth time you have gone back
for more fried chicken. Doesn't it embarrass you?" "NOT AT ALL," he said. "I KEEP TELLING
THEM I AM GETTING IT FOR YOU."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin came up and shook hands with the future bridegroom. "Congratulations, friend,"
he said, "on this, one of the happiest days of your life." "But I am not getting married until
tomorrow," said the future bridegroom. "I KNOW," said the Mulla. "THAT'S WHAT MAKES THIS
ONE OF YOUR HAPPIEST DAYS."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin and his wife were gossiping about the recent wedding scandal. "Just think," said
the wife, "it was just as the bride was coming down the aisle that the groom suddenly turned
and ran from the church and skipped town. I guess he lost his nerve." "OH, I DON'T THINK
SO," said the Mulla. "I FIGURE HE FOUND IT."

[anjaan]

"Daddy, Daddy," the girl cried. "Mummy has just fallen off the roof!" "I KNOW, DEAR," said
Mulla Nasrudin. "I SAW HER PASS THE WINDOW."

[anjaan]

The election was being challenged by the defeated candidate, Mulla Nasrudin. "I know it was
crooked," said the Mulla. "A FRIEND OF MINE VOTED FOR ME FIFTEEN TIMES IN THE THIRD
PRECINCT AND I DIDN'T GET BUT FOUR VOTES THERE."

[anjaan]

The rival political candidates were scheduled to speak at the county fair on the same program.
Mulla Nasrudin was chosen to introduce them. He arose and said, "I want to present to you a
man who, above anyone, has the welfare of each and everyone of you at heart. More than
anyone I know, he is devoted to our great and glorious nation." Then he turned to the
candidates and asked, "WHICH OF YOU FELLOWS WANTS TO TALK FIRST?"

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin was complaining about the slowness of the bus to the driver. After he couldn't
stand the complaining any longer, the driver said, "If you don't like it, why don't you get out
and walk?" "I WOULD," said the Mulla, "BUT MY WIFE IS GOING TO MEET ME AND SHE
DOESN'T EXPECT ME UNTIL THIS BUS GETS THERE."

[anjaan]

The new man in town told Mulla Nasrudin, "I have come out here to make an honest living."
"WELL," said the Mulla, "THERE'S NOT MUCH COMPETITION."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin rushed into a bar and said breathlessly, "The usual, please, and hurry, I gotta
catch my train." The bartender set up five martinis in a row and the Mulla gulped the second,
third and fourth, leaving the first and last drinks on the bar. Then he rushed out as rapidly as
he had entered. A bystander asked the bartender why the customer left the two drinks. "Oh, he
does that all the time," said the bartender. "He says THE FIRST ONE ALWAYS TASTES
TERRIBLE AND THE LAST ONE GETS HIM IN TROUBLE AT HOME."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin was complaining about his wife to a friend. "I don't know what I am going to do
about her," he said. "She has the worst memory in the world." "You mean she forgets
everything?" asked his friend. "HECK, NO," said Nasrudin. "SHE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING."