Mullah Nasruddin Jokes

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin said to a man sitting next to him in a bar, "one drink always makes me drunk."
"Really?" asked the stranger, "only one?" "YES," said the Mulla. "AND IT'S USUALLY THE
SIXTH."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin had just bought a dog and was bragging about his good points to a friend. "He
is not what you would call a pedigree dog," said the Mulla, "but no prowler could come near the
house without him letting us know about it."
"What does he do?" asked the friend. "Bark and arouse the neighbourhood?" "NO," said Nasrudin proudly,"HE CRAWLS UNDER THE BED."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin was weeping and complaining in a bar. "I don't have anything to worry about,"
he said. "My wife takes care of my money. My mother-in-law tends to my business. ALL I HAVE
TO DO IS WORK."

[anjaan]

A friend gave a bottle of cheap liquor to Mulla Nasrudin as a birthday present. Later he asked
the Mulla how it was. "It was just exactly right," said the Mulla. "What do you mean just right?"
asked the friend. "WELL," said Nasrudin, "IF IT HAD BEEN ANY BETTER YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
GIVEN IT TO ME, IF IT HAD BEEN ANY WORSE, I COULDN'T HAVE DRUNK IT."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin was bragging to his friend about his family. "When I go home at night," he said,
"everything is ready for me, my slippers, my pipe, the easy chair in the corner with the light
turned on, my book open at the same place I left it the night before -- and always plenty of hot
water."

"I get all that stuff about the slippers and easy chair and book and the pipe," his friend
said, "but what about the hot water, Mulla?" "WELL," replied Nasrudin, "MY FAMILY LOVES ME.
YOU DON'T THINK THEY ARE GOING TO MAKE ME WASH DISHES IN COLD WATER, DO YOU?"

[anjaan]

Nasreddin borrowed a pot from his friend. The next day, he gave the pot back to the
friend, and also gave him another smaller pot. The friend looked at the small pot, and
said, “What is that?”

“Your pot gave birth while I had it,” Nasreddin replied, “so I am giving you its child.”
The friend was glad to receive the bonus, and didn’t ask any more questions.

A week later, Nasreddin borrowed the original pot from the friend. After a week
passed, the friend asked Nasreddin to return it.
“I cannot,” Nasreddin said.
“Why not?” the friend replied.
“Well,” Nasreddin answered, “I hate to be the bearer of bad news…but your pot has died.”

“What?” the friend asked with skepticism. “A pot cannot die!”
“You believed it gave birth,” Nasreddin said, “so why is it that you cannot believe it has died.”

[anjaan]

"You don't love me any more," said Mulla Nasrudin's wife through her tears. "When you see me
crying, you never ask why."
"I am sorry, Darling," said Nasrudin, "BUT THAT SORT OF
QUESTION HAS ALREADY COST ME AN AWFUL LOT OF MONEY."

[anjaan]

The hay wagon had upset in the road and the young driver, Mulla Nasrudin, was terribly
worried about it. A kindhearted farmer told the young fellow to forget his troubles and come in
and have some supper with his family. "Then we will straighten up the wagon," the farmer said.

The Mulla said he didn't think his father would like it. "Oh, don't worry about that," said the
farmer. "Everything will be all right." So Nasrudin stayed for supper. Afterwards he said he felt
better and thanked the farmer. "But," he said, "I still don't think my father will like it." "Forget
it," said the farmer.
"By the way," he added, "Where is your father?" "He's under the hay!" said
Nasrudin.

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin was getting ready to apply to a local department store for a job. A friend told
him that it was the policy of the store to hire nobody but Catholic Christians, and that if he
wanted a job there, he would have to lie about being a Catholic Christian.
Nasrudin applied for the job and the personnel man asked him the usual questions. Then he said to the Mulla, "And
what church do you belong to?" "I am a Catholic," said Nasrudin. "And all my family are
Catholics. IN FACT, MY FATHER IS A PRIEST AND MY MOTHER IS A NUN, SIR."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin was applying for a job. "Does the company pay for my hospitalization?" he
asked. "No, you pay for it," the personnel director said. "We take it out of your salary each
month." "The last place I worked, they paid for it," said the Mulla. "That's unusual," the
personnel man said.
"How much vacation did you get?" "Six weeks," replied the Mulla. "Did you get a bonus?" the personnel man asked. "Yes," said the Mulla. "Not only that, they gave us an
annual bonus, sent us a turkey on Thanksgiving, gave us the use of a company car and threw a
big barbecue for us each year." "Why did you leave?" asked the personnel director. "THEY WENT BUST," said Nasrudin.