Punography

[jitendragarg]

Originally Posted by internetpremi

To have one's wits about oneself is an idiom that means being alert, fit and capable of handling a difficult situation.

Here "wits" also refers to the two jesters who are supposed to be witty and keep the king entertained.
With the two jesters on either side, he has his "Wits" about him one on each side.

Thanks. I had no idea what a jester is supposed to be.

[internetpremi]

If you get sick at the airport it could be a terminal illness.

There’s a thin line between word and world..

Optometrists live long because they dilate

Organ donors put their heart into it.

Benny was sure he could master Braille if he had to, once he had a feel for it.

My wife tells me I am a skeptic but I don't believe a word she says.

[internetpremi]

Reading is a novel idea.

She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.

I don’t trust people with graph paper. They’re always plotting something

I usually take steps to avoid escalators.

No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out during conversation.

[internetpremi]

“There’s room for one more,” Tom admitted.
“Elvis is dead,” said Tom expressly.
“This is my assessment,” said Tom irately.
“What’s a wide-angle lens?” asked Tom obtusely.
“Don’t add too much water,” said Tom with great concentration.
“Would anyone like some Parmesan?” asked Tom gratingly.
“I’ve dropped my toothpaste” said Tom, crestfallen
“I’m waiting to see the doctor,” said Tom patiently.

[internetpremi]

It's a fact. Taller people sleep longer in bed.

Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.

Math teachers have lots of problems.

Never lie to an X ray technician. They can see right through you.

Every one has a photographic memory. All it takes is a bit of devlopment.

All mistakes made by orthodontists are AcciDENTAL

Burglars are always looking for windows of opportunity.

Vampires are always looking for their necks victim.

[internetpremi]

My nine-year-old and I passed a store with a sign that read “Watch Batteries Installed—$5.”
He seemed confused: “Who would pay to watch batteries installed?”

Algebra teacher: “What is seven Q plus three Q?”
Student: “Ten Q.”
Teacher: “You’re welcome.”

Sir Lancelot once had a very bad dream about his horse. It was a knight mare.
The couple who met in a revolving door are still going round together.

[internetpremi]

Desi pun
========


अमिताभ बच्चन और प्राण ट्रेन में सफ़र कर रहे थे और बातें कर रहे थे
अचानक जब ट्रेन एक स्टेशन पर रुकी प्राणजी उतर गए पर बच्चनजी बैठे रहे।
एक अन्य पैसेन्जर ने पूछा "आप नहीं उतरेंगे? आप दोनों अच्छे दोस्त जैसे लग रहे थे।
अमिताभजी ने कहा "प्राण जाए, पर बच्चन न जाए"

[rajnish manga]

My wife tells me I am a skeptic but I don't believe a word she says.

One tectonic plate bumps into the other and says “sorry, my fault”

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out during conversation.

Thanks for posting these wonderful two (or multi) - dimentional observations.

[internetpremi]

Book Title Puns -13
Name of book : Author (Internetpremi's explanation, as understood by him)


How to Handle Nitroglycerine: E. C. Duzzit (Easy does it!)
Columbus, Vespucci, And Me: Enzo DiUrth (ends of the earth!)
Why Tires aren't Flat: Erin Syde (air inside)
Employment Handbook: Ernie Living (earn a living)
A Great Plenty: E. Nuff (enough)
She Saw Him: Esau Her (he saw her)
How to be a Con Artist: E. Z. Money (easy money)
Turtle Racing: Eubie Kwik (you be quick)
And so on and so forth: Ed Noziem (ad nauseum)
I Lost My Balance: Eileen Dover and Phil Down (I leaned over and fell down)
Assault with Battery: Eva Reddy (Eveready)
Joe's a Politician: Eli Always (he lie always)
Jello Proselytizing: Ivan Jellist (evangelist)
Vertical Takeoff!: Ellie Waiter and Ella Copter (elevator and helicopter)
Boiled Dry: Eva Porate (evaporate)
Fat Lady In The Sideshow: Ellie Funt (elephant)
Pull with All You've Got!: Eve Ho (heave ho!)

[internetpremi]

Book Title Puns -14
Name of book : Author (Internetpremi's explanation, as understood by him)


Not Near: Farrah Waye (far away)
Look Younger: Faye Slift (face lift)
To be Honest: Frank Lee (Frankly)
Raising Flowers By Hand: Flo Wrist (florist)
I Say So!: Frank O. Pinion (frank opinion)
Rangers In The Night: Forrest Fyar (Forest Fire)
I Hate Monday Mornings: Gaetan Upp (Getting up)
I Hate the Sun: Gladys Knight (Glad is night)
We Do Theft Cases: Grabbitt & Runn (grab it and run)
How to be a Vague Soldier: General Lee (Generally)
The National Science Foundation: Grant Money (Grant money)
Genie in a Bottle: Grant Wish
Try, Try Again: Getty Trite (get it right)
I Wuz Framed!: Gil Tee (Guilty)
Lawyers of Suffering: Grin and Barrett (Grin and bear it)
Hiya Fella: Gladys Eeya (Glad to see ya)
Laid Off!: Gwen Home (Going home)