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Old 19-05-2017, 10:43 PM   #12991
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

कल सबज़ी खरीद रहा था अचानक पहली मुहब्बत पर मेरी नज़र पङी वो मुस्कुराई और सलाम किया
फिर अपनें बच्चे से बोली बेटा मांमू को आदाब करो।

बच्चा मेरी तरह मासूम था
बोला - मम्मी, इतने तो आपने आलू नही खरीदे जितने माँमू गिनवा दिए है मेरे।
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Old 19-05-2017, 10:43 PM   #12992
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

आने वाली पीढ़ियों को अब मम्मियां बताया करेंगी कि

कमबख्तों तुम्हारी परवरिश की ख़ातिर
दस-दस घंटे ऑफ़लाइन रही, कई बार तो अकाउंट डीएक्टिवेट किया..
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Old 19-05-2017, 10:44 PM   #12993
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

इंसान अगर शांत वातावरण में थोड़ी देर भी रहे तो अपना नफा - नुकसान तुरंत जान लेते है।

इसीलिए शादी में

बैंड - बाजे वाले बुलाये जाते है , की कहीं इसको सोचने का मौका न मिल जाये
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Old 19-05-2017, 10:45 PM   #12994
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

After appraisal ...

Employee : सर मैंने पूरी साल इतना अच्छा काम किया उसके बावजूद इतना कम अप्रेजल क्यों...?



Boss : तू मेरे 27 सितम्बर वाले whatsapp जोक पर हँसा नहीं था..!!
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Old 19-05-2017, 10:45 PM   #12995
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

किसी भी पुरुष की आखिरी गुरु उसकी पत्नी होती है

उस के बाद न ज्ञान की जरूरत होती है
और न ही ज्ञान कोई काम आता है|
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Old 20-05-2017, 10:06 PM   #12996
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

रामायण में एक पात्र था "बाली"
बाली के सामने जो भी जाता है उसका आधा बल बाली में चला जाता है

मुझे तुरंत याद आया की ऐसा तो बिलकुल मेरे साथ भी होता है
क्योंकि जैसे ही घरवाली के सामने जाता हूँ
वैसे ही काफी कमजोरी सी लगने लगती है और चक्कर भी आने लगते हैं

ऐसा लगता कि "बाली" कहीं न कहीं इस युग में

"घर-बाली" के रूप में अवतरित हो गये हैं
#एक_पति_की_आत्मकथा
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Old 20-05-2017, 10:07 PM   #12997
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

मैं दोपहर को बरामदे में बैठा था कि तभी एक अलसेशियन नस्ल का हष्ट पुष्ट लेकिन बेहद थका थका सा कुत्ता कम्पाउंड में दाखिल हुआ. उसके गले में पट्टा भी था. मैंने सोचा जरूर किसी अच्छे घर का पालतू कुत्ता है. मैंने उसे पुचकारा तो वह पास आ गया. मैंने उस पर प्यार से हाँथ फिराया तो वो पूँछ हिलाता वहीं बैठ गया.
.
बाद में मैं जब उठकर अंदर गया तो वह कुत्ता भी मेरे पीछे पीछे हॉल में चला आया और खिड़की के पास अपने पैर फैलाकर बैठा और मेरे देखते देखते सो गया.
मैंने भी हॉल का दरवाज़ा बंद किया और सोफे पर आ बैठा. करीब एक घंटे सोने के बाद कुत्ता उठा और दरवाजे की तरफ गया तो उठकर मैंने दरवाज़ा खोल दिया. वो बाहर निकला और चला गया.
.
अगले दिन उसी समय वो फिर आ गया. खिड़की के नीचे एक घंटा सोया और फिर चला गया.
.
उसके बाद वो रोज आने लगा. आता, सोता और फिर चला जाता.
.
मेरे मन में उत्सुकता दिन ब दिन बढ़ती ही जा रही थी कि इतना शरीफ, समझदार, व्यवहार कुशल कुत्ता आखिर है किसका और कहाँ से आता है?
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एक रोज मैंने उसके पट्टे में एक चिठ्ठी बाँध दी. जिसमें लिख दिया : आपका कुत्ता रोज मेरे घर आकर सोता है. ये आपको मालूम है क्या?
.
अगले दिन जब वो प्यारा सा कुत्ता आया तो मैंने देखा कि उसके पट्टे में एक चिठ्ठी बँधी हुई है. उसे निकालकर मैंने पढ़ा.
.
उसमे लिखा था : ये एक अच्छे घर का कुत्ता है, मेरे साथ ही रहता है लेकिन मेरी बीवी की दिन-रात की किटकिट, पिटपिट, चिकचिक, बड़बड़ के कारण वो सो नहीं पाता और रोज हमारे घर से कहीं चला जाता है.
.
.
.
.
.
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अगर आप इजाजत दे दें तो मैं भी उसके साथ आ सकता हूँ क्या ...??
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Old 20-05-2017, 10:07 PM   #12998
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

मेरे एक शुभचिंतक ने मुझे यह सुझाव दिया -
कि लोगों से बहस से नहीं जीतो,
बल्कि
अपनी मुस्कान से हराओ।

मैंने प्रयास किया ••••••

बीवी बोली- बहुत ज्यादा हंसी आ रही है तुमको आजकल??

लगता है तुम्हारा भूत उतारना पडेगा
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Old 20-05-2017, 10:08 PM   #12999
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

लड़को को उस समय
सबसे ज्यादा गुस्सा आता है
.
.
जब ऑटो में 2 लड़कियों के बीच में
लड़का बैठा हो तब तीसरी लड़की के आने से
ऑटो वाला बोले:-
"भाई तू आगे आजा"
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Old 20-05-2017, 10:08 PM   #13000
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

शादी में एक हसीना को इम्प्रेस कर ही रहा था कि तभी......!


दूर के जलकुकडे चाचा पास आकर बोले......!


"और बेटा अकेले आये हो ?
बहु को साथ नही लाये"
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